Wednesday, March 09, 2005

 

The atkins diet: for cunts

The totally laughable, risible, fucking ludicrous idea of a diet without carbohydrates would be an especial type of a joke in Ireland. The idea of no bread or potatoes, no fucking crisps, no swedes, just loads of expensive meat with a piece of skinned grapefruit sitting on it-what sort of cunt would think of that. I fucking love potatoes, I really really love them. I even ate a raw potato once because I love them so much I thought I would love them raw too. It wasn’t great, but it was nicer than a raw kidney.

I can’t stand people doing the Atkins diet they are utter cunts. I am not a fan of people on diets anyway, there is a bit of the “look at me, I am altering myself, do you see it?” and it is just fucking miserable and annoying of them, that restraint and smugness. Fuckers. I don’t care what people eat as long as they just eat it without the song and the dance, they can eat raw carrots, or weird juices as long as they do not spoil the meal for everyone else. Those Atkins fuckers are the worst. They will sit with a face like a slapped arse while normal people tuck into the rolls, they won’t touch booze, they are self flagellating bores. They go on and on about which stage they are at and they smell bad, because of the metabolizing or whatever the fuck it is. I would rather have a really fat person who just eats, than a gruesome Atkinser who can’t leave off talking about sugar and carbs. Hopefully they will all die, and when they get to purgatory it will be a giant spud-u-like floating in an ocean of lager, and they will still be on that stupid diet and never be able to join in, the miserable fuckers
Noreen

Noreen is right!

A big bowl of spaghetti contains more calories than a small bowl, and the Eat 20% Less Diet is effective for almost everyone. That’s all there is to know about diets.

This is all pretty topical, because my friend Clive bought an exercise bike a couple of months ago. He used to be a fat cunt; now he’s a fat cunt with an exercise bike in his garage. Too little too late, old son. Pedalling nowhere is an excellent metaphor for his worthless life, by the way.

Or take Ball Bag. Since he stopped playing rugby he has ballooned into a fat fucking toad. But he’s comfortable with the way he looks, and I admire him for that. Give me a wheezing slug like Ball Bag any day rather than a carrot-munching narcissist like, for example, Eminem.
Barry Hutton

See also.

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Fuck off Advertising Spammers! Actually the geysers who just posted the ads above are the biggest fucking fat cunts of all because they sit on their arse all day and night going onto message boards and leaving bullshit noone cares about. Clearly such losers would have to be extremely fat as being fat comes from being lazy - the same mentality that fails to drive a person to find a real job is also likely to cause them to sit in one spot and never move except to shuffle their left arse cheek to ease a fart out (they probably let a few farts accumulate over the last hour first so as to use less effort) - and to dial up for more fatarse food. Dumb Fuckers! THough just being from US could contribute to both being a fat cunt and a dumb fucker simultaneously.
But having said all that and the point of my message - I dont know whether I agree with the original message from Doreen - as I am on 3 diets as there wasnt enough food in just one diet.
If I still get hungry I will find yet another diet. In fact - I know for a fact that some fat cunts spent a lot of effort (almost as much as the accumulated effort of opening 250 bags of chips) in looking for a diet that will suit what they are already eating anyway - of course the silly fat fuckers substitute lean chicken cubes with with fried chicken with chicken flavoured fried chips. The only problem a fat fucker has is when the diet recipe books talk about a 'leftover salad' as with fat fuckers - there is never anything left over.

And my next point I am leading towards is to suggest that the usless fat fuckers who keep posting useless advertising shit on this site can make some real money by publishing a diet book for fat fuckers who want to lose weight but are too lazy to eat proper food and dont give a rats cock if the diet doesnt really work or not. You would make craploads out of that - speshly in fatcuntland (Da US of A)
You could do a sequel book: nobody gives a cock about fat cunts (literally). Or otherwise you could make a valid contribution to society and go and clear some landmines. ...a fat lot of good that would do!!!

I was going to write some more shit but I am now bored so I will fuckoff but not before saying - spammers a fuckface, poohole, cokwank, dickbum, asexual losers. So fuck off!

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