Monday, May 07, 2007

 

Push my boundaries - I'll fucking push you over a cliff

Food is very important as it makes us live.There are many different
types of food, among the best are chips, pizza, baked
potatoes,cherries, coleslaw, crisps and non-french bread.There are a lot more foodstuffs, of course, some more or less exciting than my definitive list - there certainly is enough choice around to avoid menu-fatigue for a good few years, that is the point.

I really can't be doing with these fucking cock bandits who think it is okay to make jugged hare ice cream, or tripe and vodka cake or marzipan black pudding,it is not okay at all, they should fuck off and die, the weirdo offal-fiddling cunts. Not least because the food they peddle in their hideously overpriced noncy-named restaurants is rank and made from scraps, but because as fashion is inclined to do, their monkeying around with cheap innards, filters down to and finds its way into the high street food shops. Places I shop.

I bought a packet of jaffa cakes the other day, they were not called jaffa cakes because they were french, they were called something gay instead, but the picture looked like a jaffa cake, so I opened the packet and ate one, and the jelly bit was red and tasted like raw liver. That is what we have come to in these days of idiots vying with each other to make a more extraordinarily palate-challenging menu - chocolate, sponge and liver biscuits. The fucking filthy feckers.

And people who think preserved lemons are nice can fucking stick it up their holes as well. Preserved lemons=cilit bang. Fucking sour as shit and rankly chemical in flavour. That is all

Noreen

Comments:
Non-French bread? Fuck off! What is it with the Anglo-Celtic Francophobia. Britain and Ireland are shitholes, with absolutely no fucking culture. France, on the other hand... where do I begin? It's fucking paradise by comparison. Is there actually anything to do on those islands but go to the pub. Anyway, my point is French bread is ace, only it's so full of sugars someone like me with a low metabolism is likely to turn into a fat cunt eating too much of it.
 
Is that LU Pim's Raspberry? As a man of the world, I am familiar with biscuits from all over. They are not proper Jaffa cakes, it is true, but I don't think they taste of liver. Is it possible that when they have a mistake at the biscuit factory, they send the rejects to Morocco, not thinking that they might be bought by someone with your sensitive palate?
 
Anonymous, I have a suspicion that you already are a fucking fat cunt.
 
Well, since you don't know who I am or anything about me, it's all speculative. You'll just never know, will you. Assuming I was a fat cunt, I'd like to see you say it to my face; I'd rip your fucken head off
 
I think my suspicion has just been confirmed.
 
'Confirmed' suspicion by conjecture. You cretin. Go fuck yourself purist.
 
"Suspicion by conjecture"?

I don't think so you stupid twat. I know for a FACT that you are a fat cunt. How do I know this? I am a normal sized person and therefore assume I have a normal metabolic rate. Why, in your first comment would you mention your low metabolic rate? The only people who know they have a low metabolic rate are fat cunts. Normal people assume that theirs is normal. Fat people know theirs is low. Ergo, you are a fucking fat cunt.
 
Maybe I don't eat very much, fuckhead. Anyway, shouldn't you be working instead of flaming people you don't know anything about with 'facts' about disproportionality, you soft in the guts desk jockey. Even my claim to low metabolic rate is speculation, and it sort of fit in with the story.
 
N, I've noticed this with you before, when you referred to people who mix sweet and savoury - I think your example was a New York breakfast in which sausages and pancakes with maple syrup shared a plate - as 'the absolute ends of dogs' cocks' or something similar.

So what's your metabolism like then Noreen?
 
You've seen me MNK - I eat like a horse and am thin. It comes from living on chips and tea and not doing those fucking cunty potato and bread dodging diets.
Yes, I agree sweet and savoury things are fucking grim. This woman the other day offered me a slice of courgette cake (that is a zucchini to the foreigners) Fuck me! A cake, with courgettes in it. And don't give me "well we have carrot cakes and pumpkin pie" because I know we fucking do and I think it is an absolute disgrace. Where will it end?? Aubergine cake?? Shitake mushroom cake? Asparagus cake? Turnip cake? Fucking weird cunts
N xx
 
Oh, and Roi d'ys - yes it was those pims things. Absolutely foul. I don't know about Morocco getting the dodgy biscuits, I reckon if you think they have raspberries in them then someone has been fiddling with your brain or they have put something in to alter your palate so you don't notice the liver.
 
I have also bought those by mistake. They made my daughter cry they were so vile.
 
I've never met a culinary disaster that couldn't be solved with lager or hot sauce, or some combination of the two.

Admittedly, that's because I live on curry and kebabs.
 
The worst food I know of is Mexican salty dried plums. Normal people cannot keep one in their mouth for more than 10 seconds. French pseudo-Jaffa cakes and Moroccan preserved lemons do not compare.
 
Indeed I have, and the image of somebody wolfing down a curry from a nosebag, whinnying and randomly defecating will stay with me for a long time.

Roi d'ys, are you setting up a gag (no pun intended) about Noreen putting your salty plums in her mouth?
 
I'm not sure I want any of my sensitive parts anywhere near Noreens mouth, unless she has false teeth and will take them out first.
 
One of the truly great things about America is that we are always pushing the boundaries, food-wise, that is, and look what it has gotten us. Chicago-style deep-dish pizza, California roll sushi, and the Philly cheese steak are just a few examples of the great foods America has invented by pushing boundaries.
 
No carved, raw turnips on the menu then? Goes down nicely with a trenchant disposition, apparently.

And Sweet Lou, there's no need to qualify the boundaries the US likes to push. We're all friends here. By which of course I mean bitterly resentful self-loathing malcontents.
 
Fuking Yanks!!

They'll eat shit if was covered in candy!
 
Yeah, but, dude, aerosol cheese...
 
JsVHPg The best blog you have!
 
YYAyRQ Magnific!
 
actually, that's brilliant. Thank you. I'm going to pass that on to a couple of people.
 
Nice Article.
 
Good job!
 
Please write anything else!
 
Magnific!
 
Please write anything else!
 
Please write anything else!
 
Nice Article.
 
5LS5UL write more, thanks.
 
Good job!
 
Thanks to author.
 
Thanks to author.
 
actually, that's brilliant. Thank you. I'm going to pass that on to a couple of people.
 
Hello all!
 
Good job!
 
Thanks to author.
 
Please write anything else!
 
Hello all!
 
Please write anything else!
 
Thanks to author.
 
actually, that's brilliant. Thank you. I'm going to pass that on to a couple of people.
 
When there's a will, I want to be in it.
 
Calvin, we will not have an anatomically correct snowman!
 
A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
 
Nice Article.
 
Magnific!
 
Oops. My brain just hit a bad sector.
 
Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!
 
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
 
Oops. My brain just hit a bad sector.
 
Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]



Links to this post:

Create a Link



<< Home

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?

Subscribe to Posts [Atom]

Links