Thursday, February 08, 2007


Leave it hidden please

I used to like music - in the way that I like air. No - actually that isn't a fair comparison - I don't have a choice about liking air, for if I were to dislike air - I would be dead. I suppose then, that I liked music the same way that I like plastic bags. I could survive without plastic bags probably quite easily, and they do not improve the quality of my life to a degree that I would find it hard to envisage a life without plastic bags in. No, plastic bags and music used to be the same amount of okay, that is all.

I can't be doing with this MP3 and iShit nonsense - all that downloading and uploading makes me feel the vertigo. There is no need to make such a technological meal of something that is supposed to enhance the low-level background quality of ones life- and yet everywhere, there are people hunched over computers fucking stealing and tinkering like thieves and cunts. I'd never be so unkind as to wish those idiots to stop - they are fucking welcome to it - as long as no one expects me to join in with all that awful boring acronymic headfog.

No - they can keep their fucking postage stamp sized mp bollocks and overpriced Nano codpieces, my problem is with those CDs and the way they wank themselves blind about the hidden track or the "easter egg" as some cunt at my work called it the other day. Have you heard the things those musicians hide at the end of their CDs? Christ on a stick! I mean we all have our dirty little secrets - I once shat in a matchbox and buried it under a tree, but that was a whole, different story entirely. I've not told anyone that before and do you know why? Because you will think differently now, knowing about the matchbox shit. No matter what I write - whether I get the old fingers rattling and knock out something that would make Kafka cry - I will always be that one, who shat in a small box. And yes, there were matches in it - what of it?

There are some things that are meant to be kept hidden, Alannis Morissette, and those others of you with the tracks all concealed. And the neck of it as well! Just because you do not write on the packet of the CD that there is an extra song - the machine lets you down with its tradecraft. And worse than a secret is a secret that people just fucking want discovered. Hidden tracks - fuck off


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