Wednesday, March 12, 2008


De rerum Natura

When our whining, mediocre generation finally melds with the earth, as it misses the boat for cryogenic preservation by a decade and is forced to decompose, old-school stylee, we will pass our world into the asthmatic, allergic hands of our children. Many generation x ers, like a lot of parents generally, want to live vicariously through their offspring- a result of never quite having got out of life, the spice that should make them feel alive and worthwhile. For us lot, who were born in the seventies, have missed pretty much everything good that was going. As our mothers and fathers mutter about rationing, if they can remember it, and make a fuss about depressions and strikes and economic crises and unemployment, race riots, free love and Vietnam, we kids are left with the insipid doings of Mr Bush and his predecessors, "the rave scene" -which lasted five minutes, Robbie Williams, reality TV and the internet. You can see why some whimpering idiots want to hang on for ever in case it gets more exciting. I can tell you it won't.

There are terrible people of my age out there, who try and recreate our childhoods for the next generation - churning out those tedious "dangerous books" for boys and girls - encouraging children to hang around in railway cuttings, whittling sticks and giving the glad eye to perverts. Or those awful designers who try and foist old fashioned curtains and wallpaper onto kids who just want lasers instead of beds. Nostalgia is fucked-up nonsense. If the past actually had been that good - we'd still be doing everything we were back then. We are programmed to want more than we have - that is how progress happens - no child will want to regress to hanging about in the cold when all the excitement in the world is accessible through their keyboard. If I could have played grand theft auto instead of baiting the local flasher, I would have been there like a shot. Nowadays the flasher is internet savvy too and knows how to adopt a persona to groom a kid and maybe even get it to wank him off - a sure step up from being jeered at in the bushes. Advances in technology mean kids no longer have to contact their peer group crushes in person, through a communal phone sitting menacingly in the hall, in full earshot of all the family - nor are they required to pass a note through the hands of a third party in order to avoid talking to their loved one face to face - text and email has saved the blushes of many an adolescent - three cheers for that.

But progress costs, and here is where kids start paying - in stress. Higher tech means tougher streets and cleverer baddies who can use spyware and cheap shitty surveillance equipment to perve on kids and watch their movements. It makes fussy parents, who monitor and push and force extra kumon maths and drag their kids to shrinks as soon as they squeak. The internet has created a new way for kids to be bullied and although I have to make myself give a shit quite hard, when I hear of brats going doolally because of a spot on name calling online - compared to the ritualistic torture I saw going on in my boarding school, I can only conclude that as their world is more screen based, so are their feelings more screen sensitive, and one cannot judge another person's pain on one's own scale of tolerance. The weedy, vealy, palefaced, square eyed, little shites.


Psychotically random as her comma placement may be, Noreen is right. Children today should be chased through brambles by Dobermans until they pull their socks up. Recession, overpopulation and impending global climate disaster leave no room for the next generation to sit around wanking in front of a computer monitor the way Noreen's generation had to. We must breed a master race or fade into the flared jeans of history.
Those "Dangerous Book for Boys" are actually quite good. I managed to fine out how to completely petrify a conker and play the ol' game and promptly bash my sons brains in, purely by accident incidentally.
Noreen, I really think the potential detriment of the Internet has been ignored or for far too long. It is a powerful medium and in the wrong hands can wreak havoc. Just look at some of the suicide web pages, child pornography, people trafficking etc. Modern technology has facilitated the enormous growth of these ‘industries’. These are very real threats with horrendous consequences. So, if the Internet has the ability to promote and build empires of the more sinister variety off course it will have the ability to do so on a comparably smaller scale, such as bullying in chat rooms etc. Even look at blogs, there is terrible abuse dished out. Chat rooms and such seem to get so clicky so quickly leaving people open to torrents of abuse. A well-rounded adult may not take offence to ridicule but an insecure meanager may take it as a personal affront. It is nothing short of bullying and should be accredit as nothing less.

As for the carry on in schools, I went to public school and never seen people subjected to bullying or some of the other things I here people recollect. There was a case here last week and some people wrote it off as comradery. I never witnessed such things. Judging by the reactions of some people boarding school seems to be quite the place for untoward activity. I cannot understand how parents who went, seen kids ill treated and then proceeded to send their own kids. It is beyond me. No wonder kids are mad and need help.

A lot depends on whether you live in the town or country. I am a peasant, and spent a happy childhood stealing apples and trying to persuade wild animals to come to tea. We had no perverts, as the Securitate of concerned, torch-bearing gossips would have disuaded Moriarty let alone a macwearer.
Expecting, are you?
Fuck, no. Thank god. Why, do you think that? AH, I know - do I look fat in my picture? Are you saying i am fat? Are you? Do you think I am fat then? Or is it the dress - maybe the dress makes me look fat. That's it - I'm never wearing the dress again. And I am never eating again - I am clearly as fat as a house.

Be very careful what you say to women Mr Drumm, we are awfully sensitive, even without pregnancy hormones.
Noreen, it was intended ironically, on the kids-these-days theme!
I'm with Nonny on the scary scale of net bullying. I was a bit shocked by the level of nastiness flying round my teenage daughter's Bebo page.

Apparently it's 'just normal Dad'.

Mind you, when I think back to having seven shades of shite kicked out of me at an all boys school in the late 70's, it looks a bit less painful.
I can't fathom why they commit suicide over internet insults.

They should commit murder instead.
You do look a BIT fat. I expect Oirish boirds to have a bit of meat on them, due to carrying extra stupidity genes but don't take the piss, Noreen.

Get your lardy corpulent carcass down to weightwatchers before you become locked in your own house and the fire brigade have to use vaseline to get you out through the windows.
She does not look fat in the photograph at all you ridiculous gibbon: her arms look positively anorexic. The only way that you could think she looks fat is because she is crouched forward so that you cannot see her stomach, and it is possible that she is like a starving Ethiopian child with a pot belly and skinny arms, but that would be a highly sinful interpretation of the photograph and I shall not make it.
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