Friday, February 06, 2009


The Only Thing Gayer Than Going To The Ballet...

Is an English man going to the ballet, but making sure that everyone in the vicinity knows that he doesn't normally go to things like this, and to be honest, he never really thought ballet would be his cup of tea at all, but, well, it's actually rather fun, and isn't it amazing how the human body can DO that? God, most men can't lift their legs more than a couple of inches from the floor. Seriously incredible!

Watching wiry people contort themselves to music is indeed very gay, but you if enjoy watching ballet, (and I do) then the best thing to do, is to say: "Fuck it - I'm a terrible fruit, but I am interested in watching ballet - so I'm just going to mince on down to my seat, sit in it, and look at people dancing and miming a story." And don't give me "But you're a woman so it's ok for you to like ballet, but I'm a self-deprecating English male, so I NEED to talk in a loud voice about how amazed I am at the gymnastic feats, but I'm not awfully sure what's going on in the story, and isn't the man dancer - well, can't he jump high?". It is not OK for me to like ballet either, it is despicably gay of me, and I know that, but I enjoy watching people jump about and act all miserable or happy, and I like looking at the men's cocks.

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