Wednesday, January 27, 2010
What Colour Is A Charlatan?
Fair play to them, as I am indeed very bitter. However, I am also very "now", with the categorising. Just yesterday, this one was talking about his executive coach, a sort of modern day school matron for the workplace, who offers guidance and training in how to behave like a human being at work. Executive Coaches are held up as a picture of wisdom, when in truth they are merely capable of displaying the occasional flash of lateral thought, amongst some long winded stating of the obvious, with a smattering of cod neuro scientific language: "limbic" this, "programme" that, to give their chat some gravitas.
In addition to generalised pontificating, to impart true wisdom and give a good service to his clients, the coach must wheel out some awful old categorising exercise, so the client can finish his coaching session, with a personality label, that is shared by other people and googlable on the internet. You've probably done these sorts of things too- I certainly have. The Belbin scale ( stereotypingand labelling people in a team). Myers Briggs (stereotyping and labelling individuals). And now there is some recent, trendy gayness, some ghastly coaching tool where people are alloted colours and shades, which reflect the way they behave at work.
Effectively these gesticulating, coaching charlatans, who adminster these tests and hold forth afterwards with their straightforward analysis of the results, are being paid decent sums, to make narrow minded statements about people based on a couple of hours of wittering and a questionnaire. Do people give out to them: "Bitter this,insecure that?". No, of course they do not, no. Rather they open up their wallets, or paypal accounts, and pour streams of coins (or virtual currency) into the polyester laps of anyone willing to inflict a cretinous, profiling exercise on a group of gullible executives.
Whereas I, I make generalised, prejudiced statements about all sorts of people, regardless of their means or occupation, based on limited observations, out of the goodness of my heart. And I don't make anyone fill in a gay questionnaire, nor do I talk in acronyms or neuro-babble. What is more, since I am keen to avoid the sin of pride, I won't even draw your attention further to the fact, that I do all this pro bono work alongside full time employment, motherhood and shouting at the telly. AND do you know what I am going to do about all the abuse I get for my generous-spirited anthropological research? I am going to offer it up for the starving children in Africa.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
What Should James Do?
"I will ride it at night" he said to me. "That is the only time I will be able to practise it".
I don't fucking think so. If I were a nutter, or a junkie, or some other kind of marginalised London street creature, and I saw a middle aged man, in a suit, on a unicycle in the dead of night, I just think it would nudge me up to the next level of offending. I mean the neck of it - Jesus, I am feeling violent just thinking about it, and I am incredibly sane, and James is one of my dearest friends, but imagine, a fucking grown man, riding on, or alternatively falling off a unicycle, in pitch darkness, in fucking London! My heart is beating like a Protestant drum. I must lie down.
If You Are Incredibly Binary, I Suppose It Might Be..
Subscribe to Posts [Atom]