Wednesday, May 04, 2011


Watch Your Step, Batman

I think the security guard in my building is psychic. He is a young lad, and like most young men, enjoys skiving off work, having a cup of tea and riding around on his motorcycle scooter. He keeps his scooter gleaming and has a bunch of stickers on it - the usual testosterone-y old shite: a Ferrari logo, some stripes, some words in a language I don't read.

My favourite sticker that the security guard had on his bike, was a large oval one, featuring Osama bin Laden, grinning like a lunatic, with one hand in the air. My husband was a bit worried by this show of fundamentalism, and thought that our guard might be in some kind of a terrorist cell, but to be frank with you, the boy is a bit on the slow side, and the only type of group he would be asked to join would be one for the educationally half-witted.

Anyway - last week I noticed his scooter parked outside the guards' office and do you know what? He had peeled off the Osama sticker and replaced it with one of Batman. He may be a lazy weirdo but if I were Batman, or Robin for that matter, I would be shitting my tights right now.


It's good to know that bozos like him can find honest work in Hong Kong, rather than mugging people or working for the triads. I wonder what he'd think if you dressed up as Catwoman.
He's Pakistani though GB, and the triads are a bit racist when it comes to their recruitment policy. It's possible he came over here to blow up some infidel arse, but I defy him to blow up a balloon - he's a great big eejit of a man.

He's like the Father Dougal of Islamists - I think if I were to dress as catwoman, he would either not notice, or faint.
Do you think that the 'idiot boy' routine is really disguising the fact that he's a crack Navy Seal?

If he disappeared for a bit last week, you've got your answer.....

Ali x
No Ali- he was here all the time. So unless there is a fat, lumpen Pakistani Navy Seal out there who has the ability to astrally project himself into our guard hut I think we can consider that there is no dirty Osama blood on his hands.
A devout muslim riding around on a scooter with lots of stickers:

I already soiled my tights. It had nothing to do with OBL.
Lung - love it

Enoch - that's weird, even for you.

General update - the guard has now shaved off all his hair, which is worrying me, not least because Osama's funeral ship is docking in Hong Kong this weekend. I shan't be visiting it, nor any other American establishments until he grows it back. I mean, he probably has nits, or has noticed that it is incredibly hot but just in case...

The wood part of the collection is always easier. When you harvest from a wood node, you get… well… wood 90% of the time. And when you don’t, you get rare wood, which is always good, or material to imbue items.
Does this chap take requests for the Sticker of Doom?
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Grrr. Git some followers, girl.
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