Wednesday, May 04, 2011
Watch Your Step, Batman
I think the security guard in my building is psychic. He is a young lad, and like most young men, enjoys skiving off work, having a cup of tea and riding around on his motorcycle scooter. He keeps his scooter gleaming and has a bunch of stickers on it - the usual testosterone-y old shite: a Ferrari logo, some stripes, some words in a language I don't read.
My favourite sticker that the security guard had on his bike, was a large oval one, featuring Osama bin Laden, grinning like a lunatic, with one hand in the air. My husband was a bit worried by this show of fundamentalism, and thought that our guard might be in some kind of a terrorist cell, but to be frank with you, the boy is a bit on the slow side, and the only type of group he would be asked to join would be one for the educationally half-witted.
Anyway - last week I noticed his scooter parked outside the guards' office and do you know what? He had peeled off the Osama sticker and replaced it with one of Batman. He may be a lazy weirdo but if I were Batman, or Robin for that matter, I would be shitting my tights right now.
Noreen
My favourite sticker that the security guard had on his bike, was a large oval one, featuring Osama bin Laden, grinning like a lunatic, with one hand in the air. My husband was a bit worried by this show of fundamentalism, and thought that our guard might be in some kind of a terrorist cell, but to be frank with you, the boy is a bit on the slow side, and the only type of group he would be asked to join would be one for the educationally half-witted.
Anyway - last week I noticed his scooter parked outside the guards' office and do you know what? He had peeled off the Osama sticker and replaced it with one of Batman. He may be a lazy weirdo but if I were Batman, or Robin for that matter, I would be shitting my tights right now.
Noreen
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It's good to know that bozos like him can find honest work in Hong Kong, rather than mugging people or working for the triads. I wonder what he'd think if you dressed up as Catwoman.
He's Pakistani though GB, and the triads are a bit racist when it comes to their recruitment policy. It's possible he came over here to blow up some infidel arse, but I defy him to blow up a balloon - he's a great big eejit of a man.
He's like the Father Dougal of Islamists - I think if I were to dress as catwoman, he would either not notice, or faint.
Noreen
He's like the Father Dougal of Islamists - I think if I were to dress as catwoman, he would either not notice, or faint.
Noreen
Do you think that the 'idiot boy' routine is really disguising the fact that he's a crack Navy Seal?
If he disappeared for a bit last week, you've got your answer.....
Ali x
If he disappeared for a bit last week, you've got your answer.....
Ali x
No Ali- he was here all the time. So unless there is a fat, lumpen Pakistani Navy Seal out there who has the ability to astrally project himself into our guard hut I think we can consider that there is no dirty Osama blood on his hands.
Noreen
Noreen
Lung - love it
Enoch - that's weird, even for you.
General update - the guard has now shaved off all his hair, which is worrying me, not least because Osama's funeral ship is docking in Hong Kong this weekend. I shan't be visiting it, nor any other American establishments until he grows it back. I mean, he probably has nits, or has noticed that it is incredibly hot but just in case...
Noreen
Enoch - that's weird, even for you.
General update - the guard has now shaved off all his hair, which is worrying me, not least because Osama's funeral ship is docking in Hong Kong this weekend. I shan't be visiting it, nor any other American establishments until he grows it back. I mean, he probably has nits, or has noticed that it is incredibly hot but just in case...
Noreen
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